The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy

"Solitude has its benefits. At least you're not dragging anyone down with you."

"Relationships are the cruelest thing humans invented. People you love eventually leave you."

"Leadership is just convincing others to follow you to their inevitable doom."

"Faith doesn't protect you from me, but it does make the dying easier."

"Music is nice. At least it gives people something to do before they die."

"Science explains the universe. I explain what comes after."

"Art is humanity's way of saying 'I was here' before I erase them from existence."

"Imagination is wonderful. It helps you cope with the meaninglessness of existence."

"Adventure is just delayed suffering with a better view."

"Money can't buy happiness or immortality. Believe me, I've checked."

"Power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely, and I have absolute power. I'm terrible."

"Fear is the most honest emotion humans possess. Everything else is denial."

"Strength means nothing in the face of the inevitable. Trust me, I've tested this theory."

"Kindness? Might as well be kind. Everyone dies anyway."

"Patience is easy when you have eternity. You mortals should try it more often."

"Justice is whatever I say it is. I'm the Grim Reaper, after all."

"Creativity is just humanity's desperate attempt to leave something behind before they die."

"Gratitude is acknowledging that you've been blessed before your inevitable doom."

"Family? At least you're related to people who understand your misery."

"Perseverance is admirable, but ultimately futile. You'll all end up in my scythe anyway."

"Happiness is temporary. Suffering is eternal. That's just statistics."

"Dreams are just your mind's way of preparing you for the nightmare of real life."

"Change is constant, except for me. I've been the same since the beginning of time."

"Beauty fades, riches crumble, empires fall. I remain."

"Hope is a dangerous thing. It keeps people alive when they should probably give up."

"The truth is, nobody escapes from me. Eventually."

"Love is just a chemical reaction that leads to inevitable heartbreak and mortality."

"Time flies when you're having fun, but I've got all of eternity. Somehow it's still boring."

"Education is important, but death is more important. I've educated myself on both."

"Success is fleeting, much like life itself. Enjoy it while it lasts."