Humor Quotes

"Humor is the mask we wear to hide our pain."

"Jusqu'à la vue."

"I need a vacation."

"I am Jack's complete lack of surprise."

"You don't have to see it. I'm taking it back to the store."

"Marla Singer is like a tourist attraction—you have to see it once."

"Humor helps us survive the hard times."

"Laughter is the best medicine for the soul."

"Hasta la vista, baby."

"Hasta la vista, adios."

"Laughter is an expression of joy."

"I felt like putting a bullet between the eyes of every Panda that wouldn't screw to save its species."

"It could be worse. A woman could cut off your penis while you're sleeping and toss it out the window."

"That's what I love about these high school girls, they keep getting older and I stay the same age."

"Humor is medicine for the wounded soul."

"There's always something to laugh about if you look for it."

"You find humor in the darkest places if you look for it."

"Laughter is the best medicine for a wounded soul."

"It's entirely possible that I am a by-product of bad diet."

"The police commissioner hasn't even arrived yet."

"Between you and me, we could be standing in your condo throwing darts at each other's eyes."

"It could be worse. A woman could cut off your penis while you sleep."

"Sticking feathers up my butt does not make me a chicken."

"One hundred and forty-three times a day."

"I am Jack's inflamed sense of rejection."

"Humor keeps you human, no matter what."

"Lieutenant Dan got magic legs, but he still walks like an old man."

"I'm the smartest man alive."

"I gotta go pee."

"I don't know what you mean, I do all the time."