Humor Quotes

"A woman drove me to drink, and I'm eternally grateful."

"The only thing I like better than talking about myself is listening to other people talk about me."

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it."

"Golf is a game where the ball lies poorly and the players lie well."

"Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch."

"A man must learn to laugh at himself, otherwise he'll die angry."

"I prefer temperance, but I'm willing to be intemperate about it."

"I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food."

"A woman is just as funny as a man, and in many cases funnier."

"The reason I can't explain it to you is because you lack the brains to understand it."

"Laughter is the shortest distance between two people."

"I've always been a believer in the power of positive drinking."

"The meek shall inherit the earth, but not the mineral rights."

"I've spent my entire life trying to impress people, and the only thing I've impressed is my need for a drink."

"The best gag is the one that comes naturally from the situation and character."

"Comedy is tragedy plus time, but it's also tragedy minus self-pity."

"I never smile at the camera—I let the audience smile for me."

"Humor without heart is just noise."

"Humor is the mask we wear to tell the truth."

"Humor often masks the deeper issues we're unwilling to address directly."

"Humor is the wisdom of perspective."

"Humor is the greatest form of happiness and the best medicine for the soul."

"Laughter is the shortest distance between two people."

"Humor is a sign of mental health and emotional flexibility."

"Humor often reveals uncomfortable truths in an accessible way."

"Humor is wisdom in disguise laughing at itself."

"Humor is the mind's way of processing pain into perspective."

"Humor is the best medicine for a troubled soul."

"Humor is the ability to see absurdity without despair."

"Humor preference is a reliable personality indicator"