Humor Quotes

"I am not capable of being amused."

"There is a Providence that protects idiots, drunkards, children and the United States."

"We are not amused."

"Humor helps us through the darkest times."

"Humor is a sign of intelligence."

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator."

"A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men."

"I have always thought that every woman should marry, and no man."

"The noblest prospect which a Scotsman ever sees is the high road that leads him to England."

"I believe we are here on Earth to help others, but I sometimes wonder what the others are here for."

"Humor, even in dark times, reminds us of our shared humanity."

"The author who speaks about his own books is almost as bad as a mother who talks about her own children."

"Every woman should marry, and no man."

"Whether you sink or swim is not my concern."

"A dark and stormy knight."

"I wanted to sleep, but I could not, so I wandered the streets till I found a policeman"

"I have not even read my own memoirs"

"When a doctor is sick, Nature cures him"

"A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age"

"Humor that wounds is the cruelty of the weak disguised as wit."

"The best humor is that which reveals a truth we had not seen before."

"Compromise is the art of dividing a cake so that everyone gets crumbs."

"I am not amused by those who lack propriety and good sense."

"Humor lightens the darkest days."

"In the end, everything is a gag."

"There is a providence that protects idiots, drunkards, children and the United States."

"A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age."

"When a man says he approves of something in principle, it means he hasn't the slightest intention of carrying it out in practice."

"The secret of diplomacy is to say 'nice doggie' while looking for a rock."

"To retain respect for sausages and laws, one must not watch them in the making."