Humor Quotes

"Never believe anything until it has been officially denied."

"The secret of eternal youth is to remain ignorant of age."

"I have always thought that actions speak louder than words, but not nearly as often."

"Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself."

"I never deny, I never contradict. I sometimes forget."

"The young have aspirations that never come to pass, the old have reminiscences of what never happened."

"A jest told at the right moment can disarm the greatest tension."

"Laughter is the weapon of the free spirit against despair."

"Humor is the laugh of the free in the face of tyranny."

"Laughter in the face of oppression is rebellion."

"Laughter is medicine for the soul."

"Let them eat cake—a phrase I never uttered, for such thoughts never crossed my mind."

"Humor reminds us not to take ourselves too seriously."

"If you wish to be a success in the world, promise everything, deliver nothing."

"The surest way to remain poor is to be an honest man."

"The barbershop is the headquarters of wisdom."

"There is a providence that protects idiots, drunkards, children, and the United States of America."

"I have seen three emperors in their nakedness, and the sight was not inspiring."

"A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age."

"Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense."

"A moment of laughter is worth more than a lifetime of regret."

"A moment of genuine laughter is a glimpse of divine joy."

"I have discovered that humor is wisdom wearing a smile."

"Give me enough medals and I will win you any war."

"A person is smart. People are dumb."

"There is a Providence that protects idiots, drunkards, and the United States of America."

"A diplomat who says yes means maybe, maybe means no, and no means absolutely."

"If one could only teach the English how to talk and the Irish how to listen."

"God has a special providence for fools, drunkards, and the United States."

"Humor is the sword of the wise."