Humor Quotes

"If you haven't lost your temper, the day is wasted."

"If you are not amused, I shall not continue."

"Humor is often the mask worn by deeper truth."

"Humor conceals the depth of the human heart."

"Being bored is not interesting."

"Humor is truth with clothes on."

"Laughter is the shortest distance between two people."

"Humor is the antidote to despair and the companion of wisdom."

"Humor is the spice of life; without it, all becomes bland."

"The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office."

"Being the boss anywhere is lonely, but being the boss in your own home is impossible."

"I went to the doctor and told him I felt bad. He said, 'You ARE bad,' so I went home."

"A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer."

"The biggest reason I don't like intelligent people is that they are always trying to prove they are intelligent."

"Life is too important to be taken seriously."

"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today; it's already tomorrow in Australia."

"The greatest invention of the American people is the four-day weekend."

"How unpleasant to meet Mr. Eliot with his features of clerical cut."

"One must have a sense of humor to survive."

"Laughter is the recognition of absurdity."

"Youth is a wonderful thing; what a crime to waste it on children."

"The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office."

"You can't trust poets to be consistent."

"Laughter is the best medicine for the soul."

"It is funny the two things most discussed are the weather and health."

"You look ridiculous if you dance. You look ridiculous if you don't dance. So you might as well dance."

"I understand you undertake to overthrow my undertaking."

"Shut up he explained."

"It's funny when you think you're a particular person you're wrong."

"I tell him he is a fool but he does not pay any attention to me."