Politics Quotes

"I remember when a good politician was one who only took bribes from the rich. Now they take from everyone."

"Fear is the foundation of most government."

"Congress: bingo with billions of dollars."

"In a world gone mad, we appointed the maddest to lead us."

"When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. Now I'm beginning to believe it."

"You know what the trouble with capitalism is? It's run by capitalists."

"I always wanted to get into politics, but I was never crooked enough."

"They've finally come up with the perfect Republican: Bush. No vision and he's proud of it."

"Liberals spend money on things that don't work and expect different results."

"You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think."

"I've never made a puppet that wasn't a politician."

"Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair."

"The country has gone to pot and we've followed suit."

"A conservative is someone who believes in reform. But not now."

"Democracy is buying a big house you can't afford on the installment plan."

"Liberals feel unwarned by tradition; conservatives feel unwarned by the present."

"Watching your government is like watching a bad play - you keep hoping for a better third act."

"The only reason to be a Republican now is if you're making over $300,000 a year."

"I wrote about a man who lost his country. Then they took it away from him."

"Politicians are like bad CFOs - they count our money the way they count the votes."

"People used to believe their government. Now they just vote for the less evil one."

"I'm a liberal, which means I believe everything should be free except freedom."

"Your politics are determined by what you believe people deserve, not by what they actually need."

"Sincerity is the greatest enemy of politics."

"A nation is a society united by delusion about its ancestry and terror of its neighbors."

"I've learned that the best politicians are the ones who pretend to understand economics."

"The government doesn't really care about you."

"Politics is the art of explaining to people why they should love the leash around their neck."

"A member of Parliament was in constant hot water because he had to say something when he had nothing to say."

"We need a return to old-fashioned morality in politics. Not that old morality was any good, but at least it was old."