Barney Stinson

"I know karate. Well, no. But I watched a karate video once."

"I live for moments like these. Well, more accurately, I live for moments involving hot chicks."

"This. Is. Legen—dary!"

"I'm awesome. Everything about me screams awesome."

"You know what the chain of command is around here? It's the chain I go get to beat you with until you realize how awesome I am."

"The moment you think about giving up is the moment you should think about why you held on for so long."

"I'm not crying. My eyes are just sweating."

"What do you want to make? You want to make sandwiches? Let's make sandwiches!"

"It's not a lie if you believe it."

"I've been waiting all day to say this: I'm getting married!"

"You know what I love? Success. I'll do anything to get it."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Three words. Eight letters. Say it and I'm yours."

"I'm not great at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?"

"The future is so bright, I gotta wear shades."

"Doppelgangers. They're real."

"I'm gonna make you so happy, you'll forget you were ever unhappy."

"You want to be awesome? You have to believe you're awesome."

"I enjoy the company of women. All women."

"I'm a gentleman. Well, sort of."

"When I'm with you, time has no meaning."

"That's ridiculous. I would never say something like that."

"I don't know who's more excited—you or me."

"You can't put a price on friendship. Well, you can. I just spent a lot of money."

"If you want something in life, you just gotta reach out and grab it."

"I'm not drinking alone. The TV is on."

"Being awesome is a full-time job."

"Whatever happens tomorrow, we had today."

"I believe in love at first sight. I also believe in magic. But I don't believe in you."

"You can't go back in life. You can only move forward."

"I would take a bullet for you. But I'm not going to sit here and pretend I don't expect you to do the same."