Carl Brutanananadilewski

"Death is probably the only peace I'm gonna get."

"You keep pushin' on even though nothin' matters, that's perseverance."

"I'm grateful for what I got, which ain't much."

"Creativity is for people with too much free time."

"Justice is just whatever the guy with more power says it is."

"Patience ain't one of my virtues, and I'm okay with that."

"Kindness is how people take advantage of you."

"I'm stronger than I look, which ain't sayin' much."

"Fear? The only thing I fear is losin' my cable."

"Power is havin' the remote control and the pizza."

"Money don't buy happiness, but it buys beer, which is close enough."

"Health is overrated when you got a good TV guide."

"Adventure is just stuff that goes wrong in a place you ain't familiar with."

"Imagination is for kids and crazy people."

"Technology breaks down right when you need it most."

"History is just a bunch of old dead people's problems."

"Philosophy don't pay rent, man."

"Literature is just a lotta words somebody else wrote."

"Politics is all lies and everybody's crooked."

"War is what happens when negotiations fail and somebody's gotta pay."

"I'm motivated by gettin' people off my lawn."

"Inspiration comes from a cold beer and some peace and quiet."

"Relationships are a pain in the ass if you ask me."

"Solitude is the only relationship worth havin'."

"You can't trust nobody, especially people who smile too much."

"Life's a grind, and I ain't got much to show for it."

"Success is when people quit botherin' you about your failures."

"Love is what happens when your brain stops workin' right."

"The wise thing is knowin' when to shut up and go inside."

"Happy is just another word for not payin' attention."