Carla Tortelli

"Family doesn't have to be blood - it can be people you choose to tolerate."

"Hope dies last, which is why I bury it early."

"Courage is being terrified and doing it anyway."

"Change is the only thing that stays the same."

"Education is wasted on the young."

"Knowledge without wisdom is just trivia."

"Time waits for no one, so you better move fast."

"Truth is subjective, especially if you have a good lawyer."

"Freedom is the ability to do what you want without consequences."

"Peace is just war with better PR."

"Nature is beautiful when you're looking at it from your house."

"Art is worthless unless someone with money says it's not."

"Science is just guessing with equations."

"Music is the universal language that proves everyone's confused."

"Faith is betting your life on something you can't prove."

"Leadership is taking credit and avoiding blame."

"Work is just life with a paycheck attached."

"Dreams are reality with the boring parts removed."

"Death is the one appointment I'm actually looking forward to."

"Perseverance is just refusing to admit defeat."

"Gratitude is the price of admission to polite society."

"Creativity is making the old seem new."

"Justice is whatever you can afford to make it."

"Patience is a virtue for people without options."

"Kindness is just manipulation with manners."

"Strength is knowing your weaknesses and not showing them."

"Fear is just excitement without the fun."

"Power is the ability to make people do what you want."

"Money is the only thing that talks loud enough for me to hear."

"Health is important until you get sick, then it's essential."