Chandler Bing

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. And my eye sees very well."

"Perseverance is just another word for not giving up. Which is exhausting."

"Gratitude is important. So thank you for listening to me complain."

"Creativity is just connecting dots that no one else has connected. Badly."

"Justice is the idea that everyone gets what they deserve. Which is depressing."

"Patience is a virtue. I don't have it, but I've heard it's nice."

"Kindness costs nothing. But it's worth everything. Unless you're paying for dinner."

"Strength is not about muscles. It's about not crying in public."

"Fear is just your mind trying to protect you. It's very annoying."

"Power is having the ability to hurt people and choosing not to. Or just choosing to anyway."

"Money doesn't grow on trees. But it grows in wallets of people you can manipulate."

"Health is not about being thin. It's about not feeling like garbage all the time."

"Adventure is just what you call it when you get lost and pretend you meant to."

"Imagination is more important than facts. Facts are boring."

"Technology is amazing. It can also make you completely insane."

"History is just a record of people making the same mistakes over and over."

"Philosophy is asking questions you'll never answer. Which is my whole life."

"Literature is just fancy words on a page. But sometimes they're really good fancy words."

"Politics is the art of lying convincingly. I'm terrible at it."

"War is bad. Unless it's a food fight. Then it's a little fun."

"Motivation is temporary. Habit is permanent. I have neither."

"Inspiration is when you finally figure out what you're doing wrong. Usually too late."

"Relationships are hard because they involve other people. People are the worst."

"Solitude is nice until you realize you're alone with your thoughts. Then it's terrible."

"Could I BE more of a mess?"

"Love is irrational. Which is why I prefer rational fear."

"The key to happiness is lowered expectations. I'm very happy."

"Success is subjective. For me, it's not being fired."

"Friends are the family you choose. Unfortunately, I chose badly."

"Wisdom is knowing what you don't know. I'm very wise."