Chief Wiggum

"Quiet, you're making me lose my train of thought."

"All right, all right, everybody calm down. There's nothing to worry about."

"I'm gonna regret this, but what the heck."

"Badge, where's your badge?"

"That's the third best police work I've done today."

"I've come to make an arrest... of bad guys."

"Marge Simpson, you're under arrest for being the prettiest."

"Remember, you're the chief."

"This is the worst day of my life. Well, one of the worst."

"I'm no doctor, but I am a huge fan of science."

"You know, boys, a good police officer is like a donut. Round, full of holes, and attracts children."

"I'll have another donut. No wait, make it ten."

"Use your words, people."

"Nothing you say can upset me. I'm the police."

"Ralph, stop licking that dog."

"I've always wondered what it would be like to be a cop."

"That's it! I'm calling the police... oh wait, I AM the police."

"Quiet! You're interfering with my nap."

"Everything is coming up Wiggum."

"Let's pizza up that couple of donut holes."

"You might not be the smartest police officer, but you're in the top dozen."

"What are you in for, chief? Multiple counts of incompetence?"

"I'm gonna go drive around for a while. Try not to commit any crimes."

"Steamed hams? Why would they call it that?"

"Everyone back to the pile on."

"Marge, would you like to...? Oh wait, you're married."

"That's a paddlin'."

"I'm going to turn this patrol car around and never come back!"

"My boy's a little genius, even if I don't know what he's talking about."

"Well, it's not rocket science. It's just police work."