"Money solves most problems, unlike mine."Money
"Health is for people who have given up drinking."Health
"Adventure is something other people do."Adventure
"Imagination is what kids use to ignore homework."Imagination
"Technology is ruining authentic human connection."Technology
"History proves that nothing ever really changes."History
"Philosophy is overthinking simple problems."Philosophy
"Literature is homework with cultural pretensions."Literature
"Politics is how people prove they're idiots."Politics
"War is diplomacy with ammunition."War
"Motivation is temporary, like most good things."Motivation
"Inspiration is rare and usually unhelpful."Inspiration
"Relationships are just elaborate excuses to disappoint someone."Relationships
"Solitude is the only relationship that doesn't lie."Solitude