Edna Krabappel

"Perseverance is just stubbornness with better PR."

"Gratitude is appreciating what you have, like empty wine bottles."

"Creativity is what I use to explain why my lesson plans are blank."

"Justice is what you get if you know the right people."

"Patience is overrated, just like most of my students' essays."

"Kindness is weakness with better intentions."

"Strength is the ability to grade papers without crying."

"Fear is just excitement without the alcohol."

"Power corrupts, and absolute power makes you a principal."

"Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy wine, which is close enough."

"Health is what you lose when you care about your appearance."

"Adventure is what happens when you make bad decisions sober."

"Imagination is what failing students use to explain their grades."

"Technology has ruined everything, especially my ability to avoid work email."

"History repeats itself, especially my romantic mistakes."

"Philosophy is thinking about things you can't change, like my salary."

"Literature is boring until someone makes it into a movie."

"Politics is just organized lying with better press releases."

"War is peace with slightly better beverages."

"Motivation is what you need when passion isn't enough."

"Inspiration usually comes from other people's mistakes."

"Relationships are temporary, but regrets are forever."

"Solitude is just loneliness with a better vocabulary."

"I've taught so long, I've forgotten why I started."

"Love is a four-letter word, much like most of my opinions."

"The secret to happiness is low expectations and high alcohol content."

"Success is being too drunk to realize you failed."

"Life teaches you lessons you never wanted to learn."

"Wisdom comes with age, and wine."

"Friendship is just love with better exit strategies."