Ford Prefect

"I may be a sorry case, but I don't write jokes in base thirteen."

"You know what they call a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in Paris?"

"The answer is a towel."

"Exactly! Between you, me, and that spoon, it's completely governed by the Government!"

"It's the people you meet."

"The answer is fairly simple. You just keep your eyes on the horizon."

"I may be a sorry case, but I don't write jokes in base thirteen."

"A towel is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have."

"Reality is frequently inaccurate."

"Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so."

"The universe is a pretty big place."

"I find the odds quite interesting."

"There's a frood who really knows where his towel is."

"This will all make sense in the end."

"Improbability works in mysterious ways."

"Nothing makes sense, which is why we must laugh."

"Would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now?"

"Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so."

"You know what they call a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in Paraell Universe J?"

"I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather, not screaming like the passengers in his car."

"I may be a sorry case, but I don't write jokes in base thirteen."

"Everything you think you know is wrong."

"Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so."

"If I ever meet myself coming back the other way, I'll probably give myself a very useful kick up the backside."

"Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so."

"It's unpleasantly like being drunk."

"Who needs enemies when you've got friends like this?"

"I may be a sorry case, but I don't write jokes in base thirteen."

"Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so."

"Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss"