George Burns

"I love everything about show business except the show and the business."

"God is love, but get it in writing."

"The most important thing is to be yourself, unless you can be someone fabulous."

"Those who think money can't buy happiness simply haven't learned how to shop correctly."

"It's nice to be here. It's nice to be anywhere at my age."

"I'd hate to be a teetotaler. Imagine getting up in the morning and knowing that's as good as you're going to feel all day."

"The most important thing in life is a good laugh and someone to share it with."

"Youth is a disease from which we all recover."

"I'm very pleased with each year of my life better than the previous one."

"There are three secrets to a successful life: a good cigar, good health, and a good woman."

"I gave up smoking. I also gave up drinking and heavy eating. It was wonderful for about two weeks."

"When you stop doing something, it stays stopped."

"The most important thing about getting older is realizing what actually matters in life."

"I love my cigar, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while."

"Honesty is the best policy, but it's not very popular in show business."

"I worked my way up from nothing to complete obscurity."

"The secret of life is to be happy. If you can fake that, you can fake anything."

"Everything that goes up must come down. But there's always a repeat performance."

"I like to do things that make sense and that make people happy."

"The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway is usually a poor judge of distance."

"It's pretty hard to be successful when you're lazy and shiftless."

"The greatest secret is accepting the greatest truth."

"I'd rather be a bad boy than a good man."

"The most important ingredient of success is good health."

"When I was young I was poor, when I got older I became rich, but I was always happy."

"You have to have a sense of humor to survive in this world."

"The only way to stay young is to keep working and stay involved in life."

"I don't believe in dying. It's been done."

"Life is just a short ride before we all get off."

"I've been very fortunate in my life to have wonderful friends and family."