George Burns

"The worst thing about being old is not the aches and pains. It's the loneliness."

"I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life, so I became a performer. It was the best decision I never made."

"Age is just a number, and mine is unlisted."

"The best thing about getting old is that you can blame everything on your age."

"I believe in getting into hot water. It keeps you clean."

"The only real laughter comes from the heart."

"I would have married a woman half my age, but it was against the law."

"The secret is not to act, but to believe what you're doing."

"I've been rich and I've been poor. Rich is better."

"If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die after one hundred."

"I prefer to forget my past, which is why I prefer not to think about it."

"The thing about life is that you never know when it's going to end, so you might as well live it."

"Love is the most wonderful thing in the world, except for a good cigar."

"I won't say I'm vain, but I do love looking in the mirror, even if what I see isn't very impressive."

"The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."

"I'd rather be looked over than overlooked."

"The greatest gift is good friends who tell you the truth."

"You know you're old when someone compliments you on your appearance and you wish they'd said it sooner."

"The secret to staying young is to work hard, get plenty of rest, and don't rush into things."

"I believe everything I read, and that makes me very interesting at parties."

"Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself."

"The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that very existence is an act of rebellion."

"I'd ask you how old you are, but I'm afraid you might tell me."

"Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city."

"The moment you make a mistake, you learn from it."

"I don't remember anything anymore. I've reached the age where my back goes out more than I do."

"The best time to do something is when you can do it. You don't have to wait for the perfect moment."

"I've never been married, and I can't recommend it to anyone else either."

"Whatever you do, be good at it. Mediocrity is boring."

"The past is gone, the future is uncertain, so live in the present."