George Burns

"The secret to a good life is to tell everyone the truth and live it out in public."

"Communication is the most important thing in any relationship."

"You either laugh at life or cry at it, so you might as well laugh."

"When you're young, you want to change the world. When you're old, you're just glad you survived it."

"I would have married her, but her father was a cop."

"The secret of good acting is honesty. Once you've learned to fake that, the rest is easy."

"My wife is the boss at home, and I'm just a figurehead, like the Queen of England."

"The most useful thing about a piece of the past is that it reminds us what we're capable of."

"I've been married to the same woman for forty years, and we still love each other. The secret is we're not around each other much."

"Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at the right time, unless you're ready."

"You know you're getting old when your wife says, 'Let's go upstairs and make love,' and you answer, 'I can't do both.'"

"The greatest wealth is health, but I'll settle for financial security."

"Living well is the best revenge, and I'm living very well indeed."

"I would recommend to any young person who wants to get into show business to marry a doctor."

"I don't believe in dying. It's bad for my health."

"The most important thing is to go to bed every night with no regrets."

"Age is no barrier if you don't let it be. I'm going to prove it."

"I feel much better since I gave up hope."

"You've got to believe in yourself when no one else does. That makes you a winner."

"The truth is, I've been so fortunate in my life that I can't complain."

"I smoke ten cigars a day. At my age, I have to hold on to something."

"The key to longevity is honesty and hard work."

"Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy cigars, which is practically the same thing."

"I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill."

"The secret to a long marriage is that we sleep in separate rooms. We take turns sleeping in the car."

"Success is what happens when you're too busy doing the work to realize you're becoming successful."

"I made a commitment to completely cut out drinking and anything that might hamper my health or jeopardize my well-being. I could have ignored my wife when she came in and asked me to do this, but I didn't."

"The biggest difference between television and other forms of entertainment is that you can turn it off."

"When you're a kid, you want to be a cowboy. When you grow up, you realize that's not possible. So you become a character actor."

"I've learned that nobody's life is perfect. We all have crosses to bear."