George Costanza

"I haven't worked in six months."

"My brain is on fire."

"The marble rye is not just for Thanksgiving."

"I'm giving myself a hand."

"It's the little things in life."

"I need to find myself a woman who wants me."

"These are independent contractors."

"If I ever get married, my wife and I are going to have a lot of sex."

"I could be a great actor. I have the look."

"What's the difference between a hamper and a laundry basket?"

"A man can have sex anytime he wants."

"Timberrrr!"

"I was the Big Salad guy."

"I feel that I have had a strong positive effect on her life."

"It's a write-off!"

"I want an eggplant parmigiana."

"There's not going to be any corruption here."

"You can't just show up here without calling."

"I need to get out of this apartment."

"Life is full of surprises."

"The sea was angry that day, my friend."

"She's my best friend's girlfriend."

"I'll tell you what I'm doing. I'm gonna become an architect. That's a good profession."

"Maybe people just need to laugh."

"I used to play shortstop in camp."

"My nap is over."

"Do these pretzels taste bad to you?"

"I'm a very specific person."

"You want to have sex with her, don't you?"

"Why is that so hard to understand?"