Gilbert Gottfried

"Hope is what keeps you going when logic says stop."

"Family are the people who have to forgive you eventually."

"I've learned more from failure than success, unfortunately."

"The universe doesn't care about your plans, which is liberating."

"Authenticity is just dishonesty with charm."

"Joy is brief, which is why we chase it constantly."

"Adventure requires risk, and risk requires stupidity."

"Art is the only thing worse than the alternative."

"Music heals the soul, or at least makes you forget your problems."

"Technology connects us while isolating us."

"Progress is just change that makes us feel better."

"Communication is 90% talking and 10% listening."

"Laughter is the shortest distance between two people."

"Life is what happens when you're making other plans, badly."

"Dreams are free, which is probably why they're worthless."

"Creativity requires the courage to look foolish."

"Victory goes to those who refuse to quit, or who luck out."

"Time heals all wounds, but memories keep reopening them."

"Truth is stranger than fiction because fiction has to make sense."

"Freedom is nice until you realize responsibility comes with it."

"Peace is just the moment between conflicts."

"Nature is beautiful and indifferent to your appreciation."

"Science explains everything until it doesn't."

"Leadership is getting blamed for everything."

"Work is how we convince ourselves we're important."

"Perseverance is just another word for not knowing when to quit."

"Gratitude often comes too late to matter."

"Justice is an ideal we're always chasing."

"Patience is what you need when you have no other choice."

"Kindness is often repaid with disappointment."