Gilbert Gottfried

"Strength is knowing when you're weak."

"Fear is the greatest teacher if you survive it."

"Power corrupts, but powerlessness is boring."

"Money talks, but it rarely says anything worth hearing."

"Health is the slowest way to die."

"Imagination is what makes us human, for better or worse."

"History repeats because we never learn."

"Philosophy is thinking without reaching conclusions."

"Politics is the art of making enemies."

"I'm not afraid of death; I'm afraid of never having truly lived."

"The best comedy comes from pain, and the best pain comes from truth."

"Love is just another word for vulnerability with good timing."

"Wisdom isn't about having all the answers; it's about asking better questions."

"Happiness is a choice, but the menu keeps changing."

"Success without laughter is just work with a better view."

"A true friend is someone who laughs at your jokes before you tell them."

"Family is where they have to let you in, even when you're insufferable."

"Hope is the thing that keeps you talking when everyone else has left the room."

"Courage isn't the absence of fear; it's fear with a microphone."

"Change is inevitable, but comedy helps you through it."

"Education teaches you what to think; comedy teaches you how to think sideways."

"Knowledge without humor is just facts waiting to bore someone."

"Time flies when you're making people laugh, and crawls when you're not."

"Truth is the most dangerous punchline because people recognize themselves in it."

"Freedom is the right to say the things that make others uncomfortable."

"Peace comes from accepting that not everyone will find you funny."

"Nature doesn't care about your timing, but comedy does."

"Art is just life exaggerated to the point of recognition."

"Science proves that laughter really is medicine."

"Music and comedy are the only universal languages that matter."