Gilbert Gottfried

"Knowledge is nice, but entertainment is what people actually want."

"Peace is what the world loses when I start doing impressions."

"Education teaches you many things, but not how to handle a voice like mine."

"I'm not a method actor. I'm just annoying."

"The key to a good life is finding something you love and doing it until people wish you'd stop."

"Comedy is about timing and truth, usually in that order."

"I've never understood why people take offense at jokes. It's just air escaping my mouth."

"Success is overrated. Have you seen what successful people look like?"

"The worst thing about getting old is remembering when you were young."

"I approach life the way I approach a piece of cake: with a fork and no apologies."

"Friendship is great, but have you tried not having friends?"

"The problem with most people is they're too reasonable."

"I believe in living life on your own terms, loudly and without regard for volume control."

"Death is nature's way of saying you've been alive long enough."

"Love is wonderful until you realize the other person has flaws."

"Courage isn't the absence of fear; it's being annoying despite the fear."

"The truth is usually the funniest thing you can say."

"Change is inevitable, like aging and regret."

"Education teaches you that you don't know anything."

"Knowledge is power, but entertainment is more profitable."

"Time is the only thing you can't get back, so waste it wisely."

"I've learned that freedom means the freedom to annoy others."

"Peace is just war that's exhausted itself."

"Nature doesn't care about your feelings, and that's liberating."

"Art is whatever makes you feel something, even if it's just annoyance."

"Science explains the universe, but comedy explains why it's funny."

"Music is just organized noise that somehow makes sense."

"Faith is believing in something despite all evidence to the contrary."

"Leadership is convincing people to follow you without explaining why."

"Work is what you do when you'd rather be doing something else."