Grim

"Art is humanity's way of saying 'I was here' before I erase them from existence."

"Science explains the universe. I explain what comes after."

"Music is nice. At least it gives people something to do before they die."

"Faith doesn't protect you from me, but it does make the dying easier."

"Leadership is just convincing others to follow you to their inevitable doom."

"Relationships are the cruelest thing humans invented. People you love eventually leave you."

"Solitude has its benefits. At least you're not dragging anyone down with you."

"History repeats itself because humanity keeps making the same mistakes. I get to watch forever."

"Philosophy is humans thinking really hard about why life is terrible. I could've told them that."

"Literature is where humans pretend their stories matter. At least it's entertaining for me."

"War is just humanity's way of helping me do my job faster."

"Motivation is reminding yourself that your struggles ultimately mean nothing."

"Inspiration strikes when you realize you have limited time to actually do something."

"Technology advances, but everyone still dies. Progress is relative."

"Health is just a temporary state before getting sick and dying."

"Nature is beautiful in its indifference to human suffering. I respect that."

"I'm not evil. I'm just honest about the universe's basic principles."

"Freedom is an illusion. Everyone's trapped by mortality."

"Laughter is humanity's coping mechanism. I appreciate the effort."

"Every moment with someone is a moment closer to never seeing them again."

"Children grow up believing in infinite possibilities. It's cute until reality hits them."

"Failure teaches you nothing because you're going to fail at living eventually anyway."

"Success is just a longer path to the same destination I have planned for everyone."

"Regret is pointless. Your mistakes don't matter in the grand scheme of eternity."

"Friendship is wonderful until someone dies and ruins it."

"Love conquers all except mortality. That's my specialty."

"Ambition drives humans forward. Too bad it doesn't drive them anywhere that matters."

"Honesty is the best policy, especially when telling people they're going to die."

"Humility comes naturally when you realize you're insignificant in the cosmic sense."

"Grace under pressure is admirable. I've seen it plenty of times. Right before I reap people."