Groucho Marx

"The most important thing in a person is not what they achieve, but what they overcome."

"I haven't slept for three days, because that would be too long."

"Either the wall is crooked or the floor is - they don't line up."

"I'm always willing to admit when I'm wrong, which I always am."

"The number one reason people think it's impossible is because someone told them it is."

"I never forget a face, but I'll make an exception in your case."

"Some people claim they don't eat anything after 6 PM, but I never have that problem - I'm awake till midnight."

"The secret of getting ahead is getting started."

"If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you."

"One of the basic causes of all the trouble in the world today is that people are awake when they should be asleep."

"Art is the most beautiful deception of all time; it is a deception that can elevate our thoughts and passions to divine heights."

"There is one word that will always be a drama in any house - Taxes."

"I'm told the food here is excellent, but I must say, I have yet to see proof."

"I intend to live forever, or die trying."

"If you have to ask how much it is, you can't afford it."

"Blessed are the young, for they will inherit the national debt."

"The amount of people who read something I wrote and misquote me is astounding."

"I've forgotten more about life than most people will ever know."

"A man, a woman, and a bathtub - that's all you need for an evening."

"I must say I find television very educational. Every time somebody turns it on, I go into the other room and read a book."

"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury."

"We should go back to using natural materials. When you've got nothing else to do and it's hot, compared to nowadays when you take a shower, it's still hot."

"I am the law of gravity."

"Get a wife, anyone will do."

"If a thing is worth doing, it is worth doing well."

"I don't have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They're upstairs in my socks."

"The secret to life is trying new things and laughing often."

"Imagination is more important than knowledge."

"I'm not trying to be funny. I just open my mouth and out comes something funny."

"Do you know what your problem is? You listen to what people tell you instead of what they don't."