Homer Simpson

"All my life I've had one dream: to achieve my many goals."

"Woo-hoo! Marijuana!"

"Lisa, if you don't like your job, you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed."

"I'm so drunk, I think I'm seeing double. Two Marge's!"

"Marge, we're not dead yet!"

"I take the couch."

"I'm so happy I could cry."

"I want a pony."

"Why does everything I whip leave a scar?"

"Remember, you're the law and I'm the law."

"This is the worst day of my life."

"I've learned that friendship is the most important thing."

"Bart, with $10,000 we could get the best things in life."

"I'm not the best husband in the world, but I try my best."

"That barrel had a shirt on it? I never noticed!"

"All right, let's not panic. I'll think of a lie."

"I don't always make good decisions, but I learn from them."

"Why is Lisa out of bed, Bobby?"

"I'm a kinda guy who likes to enjoy life."

"Mmm... pork chops."

"You know, I've discovered that life is all about balance."

"Each year without you is like not having a year."

"Thank you and good night!"

"I found the real you!"

"Why you little!"

"The lesson is: never try."

"Just 'cause I don't care doesn't mean I'm not listening."

"I'm in the top two percent of dunces!"

"I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there..."

"I promise to be a good man and a good father."