Homer Simpson

"I learned an important lesson today."

"Marge, I want our love to be special."

"I'm the master of my domain."

"You know what I've always wanted to do?"

"That's a sweet lemon."

"I love my family more than anything."

"This is my favorite song!"

"I'll always be here for you, kids."

"Why can't I be smart and handsome?"

"D'oh!"

"Why you little..."

"Mmm... donuts."

"I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, save me Superman!"

"Woo-hoo!"

"You know, we're the same age, Lenny."

"Lisa, if the Bible has taught me anything, it's that women are evil."

"Here's to alcohol, the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems."

"Trying is the first step toward failure."

"The code of the West is not written down; it lives in the hearts of men."

"I want to share something with you: the real God uses tricks. He's not omnipotent, he's just been around."

"I'm in my own little world, but it's okay, they know me here."

"Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand."

"How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain."

"The only monster here is the gambling monster that lurks in all of us."

"I've learned that life is one crushing defeat after another until you just wish things would die."

"I would kill for a donut."

"Ah, sweet seventeen hundred dollars."

"Why is it always me? Why can't it be someone else?"

"I'm never trying again."

"Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'sir' without adding 'You're making a scene.'"