Jack Benny

"Age is a number, but in my case it's a really big number."

"I love my wife. That's why I pay for everything and smile when she spends money."

"Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious."

"That violin cost me forty thousand dollars. That's funny."

"Life is like a violin. You have to tune it, and hold it carefully."

"The violin is the instrument of the gods."

"I would have been a very moody person if I had not had my violin."

"Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps you in touch with your children."

"They call me Cheap Charlie, but I call myself economical."

"I'd rather be a has-been than a never-was."

"Success is getting what you want; happiness is wanting what you get."

"You can't have everything. Where would you put it?"

"An honest man is always a little unsure of himself."

"The way to keep a secret is to never tell it."

"Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate."

"A friend is someone who knows all about you and still likes you."

"I would rather be a coward than brave because people hurt you when you're brave."

"Courage is grace under pressure."

"The man who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones."

"Every day is a gift, that's why it's called the present."

"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams."

"We are dying from overthinking. We are slowly killing ourselves by drowning in our thoughts."

"Being yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment."

"The only way to do great work is to love what you do."

"Do what you love, and you'll never work a day in your life."

"Failure is just success in progress."

"The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing."

"Knowledge without application is just entertainment."

"Education is the most powerful weapon you can use to change the world."

"Time flies when you're having fun, but it goes even faster when you're not paying attention."