Jean-Ralphio

"Treat yo' self."

"I'm a five-star man."

"You can't just make up words and expect them to be official."

"I'm way too rich for jail."

"My money comes from a lot of different places, and some of them are super sketchy."

"I don't believe in banks. That's where the government keeps their secrets."

"Crying doesn't make you weak. It just means you've been strong for way too long."

"Sometimes you gotta work a little, then go party."

"I've been trying to get into your pants since I met you."

"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take."

"Everything is stupid and horrible."

"I love you so much right now. Let's get married."

"Why would anyone ever want to leave Pawnee?"

"I'm like an elephant. I never forget a grudge."

"Life is a beautiful thing. Especially when you're rich."

"I don't have time for your games, Leslie. I have a very busy schedule."

"Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy a lot of other cool stuff."

"I believe in following your dreams, as long as they involve me."

"Never, ever, ever go to a hospital. That's where they kill you."

"I've been dead inside for years."

"You gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em."

"I'm like a hunter. I hunt for gold and women."

"Friendship is a beautiful thing, unless you owe them money."

"I've never had a real job, and I never plan to."

"Education is a scam invented by teachers."

"The truth is overrated."

"I'm basically a professional dancer."

"You can't put a price on stupidity."

"My life philosophy is: work hard, play hard, dance harder."

"I don't believe in climate change or science."