Lily Tomlin

"The trick is to see the world with both wonder and wisdom."

"I invented a new philosophy—I only drank my water from a 1986 red plastic cup I found in my garage."

"We're going to have a world where we can't tell the differences between the enhanced and the non-enhanced."

"Becoming an adult is mainly just an accumulation of mistakes."

"The real trick to adulthood is pretending you know what you're doing."

"I wanted to be a doctor, but I fainted at the sight of blood. So I became a lawyer instead."

"If you read a lot of books, you're considered well-read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you're not considered well-watched."

"Most people are just trying to get through the day. Those are my people."

"I'm the only person of distinction who has ever had a depression nervous breakdown in the middle of Los Angeles."

"For fast-acting relief try slowing down."

"I always wondered why somebody doesn't do something about that. Then I realized I am somebody."

"The goal of education should be to turn mirrors into windows."

"Sadness is just anger without enthusiasm."

"I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else."

"What if there is no audience, what if you're just speaking into the void?"

"I always thought music should make you feel something."

"I wanted to open people's eyes through laughter and then sneak the message in."

"Television is a democracy. The more you watch, the less you think."

"Sometimes I think the world has gone completely mad, and then I realize it always was—I was just paying attention."

"The quickest way to a man's heart is through his chest."

"I notice that it costs money to die. It costs money to be born. It costs money to live."

"I believe that evolution happens not in the body but in consciousness."

"If you enjoy living, it is not really work."

"Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

"I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to a cross."

"Life is a sexy little dance, and you better dance it well or you'll fall on your ass."

"There's nothing sadder than getting halfway through a loaf of bread and finding out it's the other white meat."

"I always wanted to be somebody. I guess I should have been more specific."

"The height of the season is when we all go to war on each other."

"I have always felt that it is what we do with adversity that defines us."