Lucille Bluth

"That's what she said."

"I think there's been a huge mistake."

"We're not a real family."

"I'm the one who matters. Not you. Me."

"A trick is something a whore does for money."

"Or cocaine."

"I'm going to regret this, but I don't see how."

"Well, obviously it wasn't a well-hidden secret."

"I would advise you to just take a long cab ride."

"You've been prepared for this all your life."

"I'm not a witch. I'm your mother."

"You're a good person. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise."

"I know what an erection is, Michael."

"I'm leaving!"

"Bad news. We're probably never going to see each other again."

"Your father's an alcoholic. Your mother's a whore."

"And that's why you always leave a note."

"You know, I've been in a lot of situations. This ain't one of them."

"I need a drink."

"The real treasure was the time we wasted together."

"I'm better than all of you."

"Stop right there. Nobody wants a bloody tampon."

"I don't care what anyone thinks about me. I never have."

"You think I'm made of money?"

"I'm going to get myself a new family."

"Well, I didn't ask to be born."

"I say unto you, 'Screw you.'"

"You're a good mother."

"That's life, Michael."

"Just tell me what to do."