Lucy van Pelt

"I have to be honest—honesty is a disease I caught."

"What would life be without problems to solve?"

"I'm not mean to be cruel, I'm mean because it's efficient."

"You can't escape who you are, no matter how hard you try."

"I believe in taking responsibility, as long as I'm not the one responsible."

"Why do people always want something from you?"

"I've accepted my failures; I just haven't learned to enjoy them."

"The world doesn't owe you anything. Well, it owes me something."

"I'm not prejudiced against anyone, except people I don't like."

"If there's one thing I understand, it's my own unhappiness."

"The doctor is in. That'll be five cents."

"I have no sympathy for you."

"You're a blockhead, Charlie Brown."

"Life is full of surprises, and most of them are unpleasant."

"I love humanity. It's people I can't stand."

"Rats! I missed my chance."

"Success is just a matter of luck. Ask anyone who's failed."

"I demand respect! I am a woman, after all."

"My crabby disposition is hereditary."

"You blockheads are the most stupid people I've ever met."

"I'm not crabby—I just tell it like it is."

"Why should I be nice? Nice doesn't get you anywhere."

"Sigmund Freud never charged only five cents!"

"All I want is what I deserve."

"Romance is dead."

"I've never been one to hide my feelings."

"The world is full of incompetent people."

"I need to work on my listening skills—you're still talking."

"Happiness is overrated."

"I don't have time for your problems."