Lucy van Pelt

"I'm doomed. My life is a tragedy."

"Real love will never ask you for a consultation fee."

"The secret to happiness is a short memory."

"I'm a realist. I understand how things really work."

"Mediocrity I'm famous for."

"My way of life is quite simple: I lie in bed and wait for letters to arrive."

"I have a very low tolerance for stupidity."

"I'm not mean, I'm just naturally honest about things."

"I don't need to be happy. I'm fine with miserable."

"Good friends are hard to come by these days."

"That's life in the big city."

"I'm glad I don't have to be responsible for the whole world."

"I actually have a heart somewhere deep down inside."

"Why do we have to have a little red-haired girl anyway?"

"I need to talk to someone, but everyone annoys me."

"I'm not cynical, I'm just experienced."

"It's just terrible! Everything is always terrible!"

"I can handle the truth better than most people."

"Success doesn't interest me nearly as much as sleeping does."

"I prefer to think of myself as right rather than reasonable."

"The world has been known to disappoint me."

"I have very sophisticated taste in music, and in everything else."

"Two kinds of people exist: those who like me, and those who make mistakes."

"I'm trying to improve myself, but I keep getting in my own way."

"Why is it that life is so complicated and everyone is so stupid?"

"I once considered becoming a brain surgeon, but I wanted to maintain my ignorance."

"What would happen if we all wanted to be happy?"

"I think my life has become one long documentary on the nature of suffering."

"I could be a much nicer person if everyone else would just improve."

"I believe in love and truth and beauty."