Lucy van Pelt

"Someday I'll have a chance to be something great."

"That's like asking someone to enjoy a root canal without laughing."

"I have a reputation to maintain as someone who's hard to impress."

"You know what really matters in life? Having things exactly the way you want them."

"I'm not conceited, I'm just accurate."

"How can you talk about life when you're too busy living it?"

"I take pride in my ability to be miserable."

"People are strange, don't you think? But not as strange as they should be."

"I'd rather be a child and have someone take care of me."

"I could have had a future if I hadn't been born."

"It's not enough to fail, one must fail in an interesting way."

"I'm the only one in this whole world who understands my problems."

"If I ever become successful, I'll probably have to leave town."

"Why do birds have to sing so early in the morning?"

"I demand to see your credentials before I believe anything."

"I'm not in a bad mood, I'm in my normal mood."

"Real estate and girls—that's what it's all about."

"I have very strong opinions about things I don't understand."

"Why should I be happy when there's so much to be unhappy about?"

"I'm allergic to stupidity."

"I've decided to be bitter about everything."

"They should have a holiday for people like me."

"I'm not going to waste my time being nice."

"Good friends don't let you do stupid things. Well, they do, but they try not to."

"I have a theory about life: it gets worse and worse."

"I'm not interested in food or dogs or happiness. I'm interested in being right."

"If you could make a choice between being popular and being right, what would you do?"

"I see the world through different eyes than most people."

"I've developed a method for dealing with pain: ignore it and see what happens."

"There's no point in having standards if you're willing to compromise them."