"That will be five cents - cash only."
Work
"I've decided I hate everyone equally."
Humor
"You need professional help - like mine."
Work
"That's the worst decision you could make."
Wisdom
"Stop complaining and take action."
Motivation
"You're hopelessly confused, as usual."
Humor
"I'm always right, and you know it."
Power
"That's the most delusional thing I've heard."
Humor
"I got a rock."
Humor
"Life is full of surprises, and most of them are unpleasant."
Life
"Rats! I can't believe I missed that one."
"The world owes me a living."
"I have a new philosophy: I only dread one day at a time."
Wisdom
"Five cents, please."
Money
"You blockhead!"
Humor
"I'm not crabby, I'm just honest."
Truth
"Good grief, what a day."
Life
"I could have been a great doctor, but I didn't have the patients."
Humor
"The pen is mightier than the sword, but the psychiatrist's couch is mightier still."
Wisdom
"Happiness is a warm blanket."
Happiness
"I never said I was perfect."
Truth
"You're depressing me."
"Life is just one thing after another."
Life
"I can't stand it! I just can't stand it!"
"My stomach hurts from all this emotional pain."
"That's the way it goes, sometimes you're up, sometimes you're down."
Philosophy
"I'm waiting for the main event to start."
Patience
"Why does everything always happen to me?"
"I have problems that money can't solve. Oh, how I wish I had some money to find out."
Money
"You can't buy friendship, but you can rent it."
Friendship