Mark Twain

"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything."

"The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read."

"Cautiousness is the parent of safety, but not of greatness."

"Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life."

"The lack of money is the root of all evil."

"Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education."

"Don't go around saying the world owes you a living; the world owes you nothing; it was here first."

"Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid."

"The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow."

"Annihilate them by accepting them."

"There is no greater religion than human love."

"The very ink with which history is written is merely fluid prejudice."

"Circumstances make relatives and adventures make friendship."

"I have never let my schooling interfere with my education."

"The main difference between a man and a woman is that a woman can talk longer than a man."

"Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed."

"The lack of modesty in women is the result of too much freedom."

"Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside."

"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you."

"The twin symbols of the American Republic should be the living eagle and the living ass."

"I wish I had recorded more of my father; he was not a man to be forgotten."

"I was not timid in those days; I would do things, and take the consequences."

"The man who always knows he is right is the man who never learns anything new."

"Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience; this is the ideal life."

"The turning point of my life came when I realized that nobody owed me a single thing."

"Let us be thankful for our blessings."

"The best way to cheer yourself is to cheer somebody else up."

"Be good and you will be lonesome."

"The secret to getting ahead is getting started."

"There is no time like the present."