Milhouse Van Houten

"War and peace are both terrible. Like my love life."

"Motivation is something successful people have. I have anxiety instead."

"Inspiration is everywhere if you look for it. I stopped looking."

"Relationships require vulnerability. I'm just vulnerable without the relationship."

"Solitude is fine until you realize you're alone because of who you are."

"Life is what happens while you're making other plans... that also fail."

"Love is a many-splendored thing that I'll never experience."

"Happiness is fleeting, like everyone who meets me."

"Success breeds success, and failure breeds more failure. I'm very successful at failing."

"The best friends are those who stick with you. Mine don't even start."

"Family is forever, unfortunately and fortunately."

"Hope springs eternal, even in the breasts of nerdy kids."

"Courage is not the absence of fear; it's being afraid and doing it anyway. I'm just afraid."

"Change is the only constant, especially in my rejection status."

"Learning never stops, just like my disappointments."

"Knowing something is hard. Being something is harder. I'm neither."

"Time flies when you're having fun. My time just crawls."

"Truth hurts, especially when the truth is that you're a loser."

"Freedom is just the privilege of being miserable independently."

"Peace is what I'll find when I finally disappear."