Milhouse Van Houten

"Strength comes from within, which is bad news for me."

"I'm not afraid of much. Okay, I'm afraid of everything."

"Money doesn't grow on trees, but it does grow in my piggy bank... until I break it."

"Health is important, but so is not going to the doctor."

"Adventure is out there, but I'm staying in here where it's safe."

"My imagination is the only place where things work out for me."

"I'm not good with technology, but I love trying to use it anyway."

"History is boring, unless it's about rejected kids like me."

"Philosophy is just thinking about stuff you can't change."

"I like to read, even though books are just words that don't love you back."

"Politics is complicated. So is not being a nerd."

"War is bad. But being a loser is worse."

"I need motivation, but mostly I need someone to like me."

"Inspiration comes from weird places. Like my anxiety."

"Relationships are hard. Being alone is harder. I choose hard."

"Solitude is peaceful when you're not thinking about how alone you are."

"Life isn't fair, but at least it's consistent about that."

"Love makes you do crazy things. Like talking to yourself."

"Happiness is temporary, so enjoy it while it lasts... about two seconds."

"Success and I live in different towns and don't have each other's phone numbers."

"Friends are people who tolerate you. I have none."

"Family loves you even when you're a disappointment. So there's that."

"Hope is the thing that keeps you getting out of bed, even though bed is great."

"Courage is just fear with a better PR team."

"Change is inevitable. So is me staying the same."

"Education is important, but so is being cool, and you can't have both."

"Knowledge is like a glasses prescription—it helps you see, but it makes you look like a nerd."

"Time is a river, and I'm drowning in it."

"Truth is subjective, unlike my failure, which is objective."

"Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose, but I lose everything anyway."