Mort Goldman

"The truth will set you free, but first it'll make you miserable."

"Freedom is the ability to be disappointed in your own way."

"Peace is just the absence of noise, which never happens."

"Nature is trying to kill us all the time."

"Art is subjective, which means my finger paintings are just as good as the Mona Lisa."

"Science explains the 'how,' but not the 'why should I care.'"

"Music is the universal language, which is why I don't understand any of it."

"Faith without works is dead, and faith with works is exhausting."

"Leadership is telling people what to do while maintaining plausible deniability."

"Work is what you do when you'd rather be doing nothing."

"Dreams are nice, but waking up and realizing they won't come true is nicer."

"Beauty fades, but stupidity is forever."

"Death is the only thing we can count on, which is depressing."

"Perseverance is just refusing to give up even though you should."

"Gratitude is saying thank you to people who expect nothing in return."

"Creativity is making something from nothing, or from a lot of beer."

"Justice is serving time for something you probably did."

"Patience is a virtue I never learned."

"Kindness is being nice to people who don't deserve it."

"Strength is the ability to admit when you're weak."

"Fear is the mind-killer and also the bowel-loosener."

"Power is knowing someone's secrets and keeping your mouth shut."

"Money is the root of all evil, which makes evil a pretty good investment."

"Health is a state of being that requires effort I don't have."

"I'm not a smart man, but I know what love is."

"That's what I appreciate about life - you never know what's gonna happen next."

"Sometimes the best things in life are the simple ones."

"You gotta keep moving forward, even when things get tough."

"Family is everything, no matter how crazy they make you."

"A true friend sticks with you through thick and thin."