Mort Sahl

"The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really mad."

"We seem to be running out of things to satirize."

"My father was a stockbroker. He's been dead for thirty-one years. He was Jewish."

"The only tradition in American politics is civil rights."

"Let me put it this way: if there's a higher power, it sure as hell isn't interested in my rating."

"Freedom is when you don't have to think about tomorrow."

"I don't believe there's any problem in this country, no matter how tough it is, that Americans, when they are focused and working together, cannot solve."

"Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves. Who's going to free the middle class?"

"Today, the most important thing is the election. Tomorrow, it won't be important."

"The Constitution is not a suicide pact."

"Half the world is composed of people who have something to say and can't, and the other half who have nothing to say and keep on saying it."

"You're assuming that Congress is thinking. Congress is not thinking."

"American foreign policy is to do nothing unless it affects corporate interests."

"The establishment is just a word for people in power."

"Young people are the most adaptable people in the world. They're dealing with technology that didn't exist when their parents were born."

"We're supposed to believe that American democracy is based on free speech, but that's just propaganda."

"I've seen more evil in the Republican Party than I ever saw in God."

"The only thing I believe in is the now."

"Vietnam was a war that needed to be fought at home, not in Vietnam."

"When I was a boy, I used to think that strong people didn't allow themselves to feel things."

"I don't think the government is really interested in aliens."

"If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem."

"Politics is the only field in which the more improbable the candidate, the better he does."

"We are the middle class. And we've been screwed."

"The problem is that once a person succeeds, he wants to stop succeeding."

"I believe in equality for everyone, except reporters and photographers."

"Art should comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable."

"If you want to know about the politics of a country, look at who they put in prison."

"The right wing hasn't had a new idea in thirty years."

"A liberal is a conservative who has been arrested."