Mort Sahl

"There's nothing more important than good food and good company, except maybe a good argument."

"I'm living so far beyond my means that we may almost be said to be living apart."

"The alleged reason we're here is to help others. But I sometimes think we're really here just to consume bandwidth."

"You haven't lived until you've died. But that's another story."

"The reason I don't watch television is simple: I have three teenage kids. That's all the inanity I can handle."

"I once said, Carter's foreign policy is a Rorschach test, and you know what nobody understood that."

"I was raised on the promise that one man could make a difference. Turns out, it's usually a very small difference."

"Democracy is buying a majority with the money of the minority."

"Organised religion is making a comeback. So is the plague."

"The ideal of American education has always been to make the pedestrian pedestrians."

"If you don't mind, it doesn't matter."

"I've got a problem with nostalgia. Everything seems better when it's behind you."

"The future lies ahead, like a thick fog. I can't see it, but I'm driving right toward it."

"Work is a curse. That's why they call it work."

"I think being funny is not anyone's first choice. You first want to seduce someone, then you want to cause pain, then you want to be funny."

"The New York Times is read by the people who run the country. The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the country."

"Conservatives want to police bedrooms. Liberals want to police kitchens. Both are wrong."

"There are times when parenthood seems nothing but feeding the hand that bites you."

"I've learned there's an I in team. It's right after the T."

"The public good is something that very few people bother to think about."

"You know what the trouble with reality is? There's no background music."

"A country's culture lives in its people. Kill the people, and the culture is history."

"I'm living proof that you don't have to be smart to make money."

"Tradition is the illusion of permanence."

"The more you own, the more it owns you."

"Art is what you can get away with."

"The problem with the rat race is that even when you win, you're still a rat."

"Anything too stupid to be spoken is sung."

"I remember when a good politician was one who only took bribes from the rich. Now they take from everyone."

"Knowledge is power, but enthusiasm pulls the switch."