Oscar the Grouch

"Perseverance means never giving up on being grouchy."

"Gratitude? I'm grateful for less company."

"Creativity is best used to create barriers around yourself."

"Justice is when people finally leave you alone."

"Patience is something I don't have, and I'm okay with that."

"Kindness is a conspiracy to ruin a perfectly good grouchy day."

"Strength comes from resisting everyone's attempts to cheer you up."

"Fear? I fear a world without enough trash."

"Power is having a sturdy can lock."

"Health is irrelevant when you've got a bad attitude."

"Adventure is what happens when you can't avoid other people."

"Technology is another way for people to bother you."

"History shows that grouches have always been right."

"Philosophy is just complaining with fancier words."

"Literature is better when nobody discusses it with you."

"Politics would be better with fewer politicians bothering me."

"War is just organized bothering."

"Motivation is something I'm successfully avoiding."

"Inspiration is finding new ways to avoid people."

"Relationships work best when they're nonexistent."

"If you're grouchy enough, you'll naturally be alone."

"The only thing better than trash is more trash."

"Happiness is a myth invented to torture grouches."

"Why can't everyone be more like me? Grouchy and honest."

"Success means keeping everyone out of your personal space."

"Love at first sight? More like disgust at first sight."

"Friendship is an overcomplication of being left alone."

"Family reunions are my personal nightmare."

"Hope springs eternal, unfortunately."

"Courage is needed to be rude in a polite world."