Pierce Hawthorne

"I don't have time for this nonsense."

"That's not how we did it in my day."

"I'm too old for this, but I'm staying anyway."

"Everything was better before you were born."

"I've got more money than sense, which is saying something."

"This is what's wrong with your generation."

"I don't need your approval."

"Back in my day, we earned our respect."

"I'm not judging, I'm observing."

"That's the dumbest thing I've heard all week."

"I've been to more places than you've been alive."

"Money solves most problems."

"I'm a self-made man, which explains a lot."

"Youth is wasted on people who don't appreciate it."

"I've made worse decisions than this."

"This is why I prefer my own company."

"I'm not wrong, you're just not listening correctly."

"That's what I get for trying to help."

"I've paid for better entertainment than this."

"Some people are just born better than others."

"I'm not racist, I'm just better than people."

"You're all idiots, but you're MY idiots."

"I've made some poor life choices, but they've all been hilarious."

"Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy a lifetime supply of disappointment."

"I'm not old, I'm vintage."

"Success is 90% showing up and 10% not caring what people think."

"Love is just a chemical reaction designed to perpetuate the species."

"The key to leadership is making people think it was their idea."

"I've learned that holding grudges is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die."

"Education is important, but so is knowing when to ignore it."