Screwy Squirrel

"Death would be boring anyway - I've got too much living to do!"

"Perseverance means doing the same crazy thing until it eventually works!"

"Gratitude is nice, but gratuitous silliness is nicer!"

"Creativity is just controlled insanity with a good plot!"

"Justice is served best when nobody sees it coming!"

"Patience is for squirrels with normal attention spans!"

"Kindness is my middle name - right after Insane and before Chaotic!"

"Strength comes from laughing in the face of complete mayhem!"

"Fear is just excitement in fancy clothes!"

"Power is the ability to make people say 'Did he really just do that?'"

"Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy acorns, which is basically the same thing!"

"Health is wealth, but wealth is acorns, so really I'm doing fine!"

"Adventure is my middle name - or was it my first name? I forget!"

"Imagination is the only limit, and I don't recognize limits!"

"Technology is cool, but a good chase scene never goes out of style!"

"History is made by people doing unexpected things - so I'm making history!"

"Philosophy teaches us to question everything - I just do it in funny ways!"

"Literature is best when the main character is completely unhinged!"

"Politics would be more fun if everyone was as honest as I am about being nuts!"

"War is chaos - which means I'd probably be great at it!"

"Motivation comes from within - mine comes from random impulses!"

"Inspiration strikes like lightning - unexpectedly and usually involving screaming!"

"Relationships are fun when both parties embrace the madness!"

"Solitude is nice, but shared insanity is better!"

"The best part of waking up is realizing I survived yesterday!"

"If life gives you lemons, throw them - preferably at someone unsuspecting!"

"Love conquers all - but a well-timed pie to the face is funnier!"

"Happiness is a warm acorn in your cheek pouch!"

"Success is subjective - I'm successful at being ridiculous!"

"Friends help you move - best friends help you move randomly!"