Senor Chang

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but mainly just me."

"Death is the only escape from teaching Spanish to these monsters."

"Perseverance is continuing to show up even when no one respects you."

"Gratitude is a word I don't know the meaning of."

"Creativity is what I use to hide my incompetence."

"Justice is when students actually learn something."

"Patience is a virtue I will never possess."

"Kindness is weakness masquerading as morality."

"Strength comes from within, or so I tell myself."

"Power corrupts, but I was already corrupt before I had any."

"Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy power, which I'll settle for."

"Health is a luxury item I cannot afford."

"Adventure is what happens when you make poor life choices."

"Imagination is lying, and I'm very good at lying."

"Technology will never replace the human touch, but it will try."

"History repeats itself, usually with my mistakes."

"Philosophy is asking questions you'll never answer."

"Literature is just lies that make you think you're smart."

"Politics is the art of lying convincingly while staying in power."

"War is what happens when negotiation fails, which is always."

"Inspiration comes from places you'd never expect, like hatred."

"Relationships are complex, especially when you're insane."

"Solitude is the only time I don't disappoint anyone."

"Family is the people you're stuck with no matter how weird you are."

"If you're not learning something new every day, you're dying."

"The difference between stupidity and genius is degree of effort."

"I once shot a man in Reno just to watch him die... just kidding."

"Estúpido! That means stupid, which is what you are if you don't learn Spanish."

"My life is a series of questionable decisions punctuated by worse ones."

"Success is not about getting ahead; it's about not falling behind."