Smithers

"Nature is beautiful, but nothing compares to Mr. Burns' jawline."

"Art is expression, and I express myself through service."

"Science explains the universe, but not why I love Mr. Burns."

"Music soothes the soul, but Mr. Burns' voice is all the melody I need."

"Faith is believing in something greater than yourself, like Mr. Burns."

"A good leader inspires people, and Mr. Burns inspires my complete submission."

"Work is what defines us, and I am defined entirely by my work for Mr. Burns."

"Dreams are where our hopes come true, and I dream of Mr. Burns every night."

"Humor is the best medicine, except when you're this obsessed with your boss."

"Beauty fades, but Mr. Burns' power is eternal."

"Death is nature's way of saying hello to the next life of serving Mr. Burns."

"Perseverance means never giving up, no matter how many times you're ignored."

"Gratitude is appreciating what you have, even if it's just proximity to Mr. Burns."

"Creativity flourishes when you have a muse, and mine is my boss."

"Justice is served when Mr. Burns wins, regardless of the circumstances."

"Patience is a virtue I've perfected waiting for Mr. Burns to notice me."

"Kindness starts with small gestures, like bringing your boss a perfect martini."

"Strength comes from within, but mine comes from Mr. Burns."

"Fear is just love with nowhere to go, especially when directed at your employer."

"Power corrupts, but Mr. Burns is worth the corruption."

"Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy you time near Mr. Burns."

"Health is wealth, but I'd sacrifice my health for Mr. Burns."

"Adventure is out there, but I'm here, at my desk, where I belong."

"Imagination is wonderful, but reality with Mr. Burns is better."

"Technology advances, but my affection for Mr. Burns remains analog and pure."

"History remembers the great, and Mr. Burns shall be remembered."

"Philosophy asks big questions, like why I love someone who doesn't love me."

"Literature captures the human experience, but can it capture my experience?"

"Politics divides, but my allegiance to Mr. Burns is bipartisan."

"War is terrible, except when Mr. Burns is winning."