Ted Baxter

"True strength is looking good under pressure."

"Adventures are better when you're the main character, which I always am."

"The truth is often less important than how you present it."

"I practice patience by waiting for others to recognize my genius."

"Hope springs eternal, like my confidence."

"Education matters, but charm matters more."

"The knowledge I lack, I compensate for with conviction."

"My dreams are simple: more success, better lighting, eternal youth."

"Humor is laughing with yourself and at everyone else's misfortune."

"Peace is found in knowing you're the best thing on television."

"Art imitates life, but life imitates me."

"Science can't explain why I'm so perfect - it just accepts it."

"Music swells when I walk into a room, or at least it should."

"Faith in yourself is the only faith you need."

"Work is where I get to shine, literally and figuratively."

"Perseverance is showing up to work and looking great doing it."

"I'm grateful for all my talents and the people who appreciate them."

"Creativity is finding new ways to be me."

"Justice is me being right, which is always."

"Kindness is remembering the little people who made me great."

"The only thing I fear is bad lighting."

"Power is having people listen because of how you look saying it."

"Health is a vanity I take very seriously."

"Family dinners are better when everyone's looking at me."

"Freedom is doing what you want when you look like this."

"Nature's beauty pales in comparison to my own."

"Technology should be used to enhance my already perfect image."

"History is in the making every time I read the news."

"Philosophy means knowing that I'm the answer to most questions."

"Literature is best when it's about men of my caliber."