Will Rogers

"Nothing you can't spell will ever work."

"Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and their politicians as a joke."

"On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does."

"The minute you read something and you can't forget it, your brain can't hold it 'cause there's nothing in it."

"By the time we realize our parents were right, we have children who think we're wrong."

"The farmer is the only man in the country that is living on his capital."

"We can make this thing into a great country, but you have to quit reading these headlines and using them as gospel truth."

"It's the little fellow that hasn't said anything yet that you want to watch."

"The difference between death and taxes is death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets."

"We can't all be heroes. Some of us have to stand on the curb and clap as they go by."

"Somebody is always getting me in. I don't know how."

"There are two kinds of education. One kind teaches you how to make a living, while the other kind teaches you how to live."

"A holding company is a thing where you hand an accomplice the goods while the police search you."

"I am a member of the rabble in good standing."

"Most folks is just as happy as they make up their minds to be."

"Of all the bunk in this world, the bunk pronounced in a loud voice is the hardest to overcome."

"People's minds are changed through observation, and not through argument."

"The only way to get a loan from a bank is to prove you don't need it."

"We are here just for a little while, and we want to make it as pleasant for each other as we can."

"I never expected a politician to admit he was wrong."

"The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it."

"Money is a funny proposition. It's a lot more fun to have it than it is to be broke, but it's a lot more fun to be broke than to owe money."

"You know the income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. But both are known to be beneficial."

"There is nothing as stupid as an educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated on."

"If you don't know the guy personally, don't believe what you read about him."

"There has never been a time when I could not make a living with my teeth."

"I have always been afraid of banks. I put all my money under the mattress."

"I tell you folks, all politics is apple sauce."

"The only difference between death and the tax man is that death doesn't repeat itself every year."

"It's no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense."