Will Rogers

"Rumor travels faster, but it don't stay put as long as truth."

"If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?"

"There is no credit in being a comedian, when you have the whole government working for you. All the funny things they come out and do."

"You know this thing of being a hero, about the main thing to it is knowing when to die."

"The more that free people read, the better off they are."

"When you find yourself in a hole, stop digging."

"No country can long endure unless its people will fight for it."

"The fundamental trouble with car people is that they don't use their cars."

"I would rather be a could-be if I was than a could-not-be."

"Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there."

"I notice nothing gets by the movie censors. That's why the movies are such a big help to us in Congress."

"Thank the Lord, I have done more talking than any man, but I have said less of importance."

"America is a great country. Where else can you start out sleeping under a bridge and end up in Congress?"

"A man is lucky if he is the first love of a woman. A woman is lucky if she is the last love of a man."

"The whole country is one big telephone call."

"We Americans think we are just the most important people that ever lived in the history of the world."

"This microphone in front of me may be a spokesman for the future."

"Lord, the things we think up to worry about! We are certainly good at that."

"I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat."

"After each dusty mile we come to learn that there's no place quite like home."

"The only thing we learn from new elections is we learned nothing from the old ones."

"We could have a national debate on whether to have a national debate."

"That's all any of us is - a collection of clichés."

"My forebears didn't come over on the Mayflower, but they were there to meet the boat."

"Just be thankful you're not getting all the government you pay for."

"There is no such thing as a perfect man, but there is such a thing as a perfect dog."

"The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients where it hurts."

"I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts."

"Everybody is ignorant, just on different subjects."

"I had rather be a real bad boy than a real good girl."