Community

"Patience is a virtue I've perfected while waiting for faculty compliance."

"Justice is blind, but she files reports with the Dean."

"Creativity needs structure, much like I provide."

"Gratitude is the attitude, especially toward your administrative overlords."

"Perseverance is admirable, perseverance under my mentorship is unstoppable."

"Death is the final frontier, but retirement packages are negotiable."

"Beauty fades, but a good reputation in administration is forever."

"Humor is tragedy plus time, or my press releases with creative wording."

"Dreams deferred can still become reality through persistence and my intervention."

"Work is worship, especially when you're working for me."

"Leaders are born, but they're perfected through administrative experience."

"Faith without works is dead, faith in me is promoted and gets benefits."

"Music soothes the savage beast, but policy calms the savage college."

"Science is just organized knowledge, like my file system."

"Art imitates life; my life imitates a perfectly pressed suit."

"Nature is beautiful, but it's better when organized by department."

"Inner peace is achieved through acceptance and my mediating hand."

"Freedom isn't free—there are administrative costs."

"The truth is bureaucratic and has several forms to fill out first."

"Time is money, and I bill for both."

"Knowledge without application is just trivia; knowledge with my guidance is power."

"Education enlightens the mind and fills my coffers."

"Change is the only constant, except my steadfast commitment to this institution."

"Courage is facing your fears, I face my fears with authority and pinstripes."

"Hope springs eternal, like my optimism about enrollment numbers."

"Family is where the heart is, mine is in Greendale's organizational chart."

"True friendship means never asking for special treatment... but if you do, my door is always open."

"The path to success is paved with proper channels and my approval."

"Happiness is just sadness with better lighting and a working espresso machine."

"Love thy neighbor, especially if they're on the administration."