Community

"A leader doesn't just tell people what to do—he wears a better outfit while doing it."

"Faith in yourself is important, but faith in me is more practical."

"Music is the universal language, mine is administrative jargon."

"Science proves that I'm right about most things."

"Art is subjective, but my taste is objectively superior."

"Peace is something we should all strive for, preferably on campus."

"Freedom is precious, like my collection of commemorative gavels."

"The truth will set you free, but first it'll make you look bad on my watch."

"Time flies when you're having fun, but it crawls during budget meetings."

"Knowledge is power, and power looks good in a three-piece suit."

"Change is inevitable, except in my office décor."

"The key to happiness is acceptance. Accept that I'm in charge."

"Friendship is like my wardrobe—it requires constant maintenance and occasional dry cleaning."

"Success isn't about the destination, it's about the fancy blazer you wear getting there."

"I believe in second chances. That's why I'm still here."

"Love is the most powerful force in the universe, right after my authority as Dean."

"Life is like a Sting album—nobody really understands it, but everyone pretends to."

"You can't put a price on education... actually, you can, it's on your tuition bill."

"I'm not just the Dean of Greendale Community College, I'm the dean of your dreams."

"Death is just the ultimate cancellation."

"Beauty is a well-framed shot of human vulnerability."

"Solitude is where you perfect your character work."

"Inspiration comes from obsessing over source material."

"Motivation is knowing your character has unresolved plot threads."

"Adventure is the season finale energy applied to Tuesday."

"Health is system maintenance so the show continues."

"Money is how you fund your own production."

"Power is understanding the narrative better than anyone else."

"Fear is what you feel before the big reveal."

"Every scar is just character development you didn't ask for."